Two weeks can change a lot of things

I haven't written because I'm pretty sad right now- I lost my cat of two years that we adopted as an adult. She died the 2nd and after having such a loyal pet by my side for so long, our house feels weird and empty without her. :(

so that's why I haven't written much- honestly life is just one big crap shoot after another to me. I'm still fighting off infections from bronchitis, one round of antibiotic wasn't enough and so my doctor wanted me to try something new- hah- ended up nearly leaving me bedridden with side effects. So now I'm back on the only medication I don't react badly to. If I ever develop an allergy to it- goodbye Gracie. :P I have no idea what I would do if I did. It's the only thing keeping me alive through all the issues I have.

My hubby has been working or at least gone FOR work for 12 hours of the day and so I am solo parenting (I'll write more of that in a specific post) it's hard. Really hard. My body aches, my head pounds, my son has taken to screaming for fun which leaves me with a migraine by 10 am that lasts until - well- it never really goes away. The physical stress of taking care of a big baby/toddler alone for 12 hrs a day is staggering. I admire single mothers. Really- they deserve a medal or something. If I had to do it for 24 hrs, day and night I would be in the madhouse before long. Thankfully it's 'only' 12 hr days with my son. But- that's a lot.

I don't have a car because we can't afford one and I'm stuck in the house with all the harsh weather we've been having. Losing my freaking mind.

We don't have family to help (see my other blog) and we don't have money for a sitter- nor do we really trust anyone who offers to help- not that anyone has even offered. I don't have friends like that. It sucks. Whenever something 'big' happens to people I know they're gone and totally thoughtless even though I try my best to keep them in the loop about my life without being a Debbie Downer.

I thought it was common courtesy to check in on a friend not doing so well. Just me? Maybe. Maybe I'm archaic and I actually expect 'friends' to be there when you need them. My best friend is a charm I hold dearly but lives so so far away, no one else I know is like that. Oh I could just cry.

If anyone needs a friend- seriously - hit me up. I'm a damn good one. I know what NOT to do.