The two people you're sure to meet as a SAHM

Over and over again, I keep running into these characters. Of course there are the other types of people you meet when you say you're a stay at home parent, the older generation who thinks you have it easier than they did or because they did 'it all', mom/dad, the lot. But more frequently, you meet two different people- usually parents.

1- the person who always says (over and over again): "I have so much respect for stay at home moms, I could never do it". Then they usually go on to say how maternity leave was a nightmare and they couldn't wait to get back to work. Or how much they hate being 'cooped up' with their own kids. Sad, really. I mean, here we are- both of us as parents. Different lifestyles- but it always confuses me to hear parents who admit they can't stand being in their child's company and no one else's. I hope their kid never hears them say that, how damaging to self-esteem! To hear your own mother/father doesn't like just hanging out with you. Sad times.

2- I can't possibly afford it. You're so lucky. Lucky? Ok. If you call downsizing 'lucky' I guess we're lucky. We can't afford it, plain and simple- but when there's a will there's a way. We simple make it work for our family, that's all. Often, these parents I find make these comments and other comments on the sly shading stay at home parents- it's pretty clear they want to stay home but are deciding against it. After all, you can live without two cars, cable, fancy phones and new clothes all the time. I find these parents to be in the 'unhappy with life' group and stay at homes are a butt end of some weird running joke they have amongst themselves.

I swear I can't go a week without meeting at least one type of parent I just described. What annoys me isn't that these parents complain that life is hard. It IS hard, no doubt about it. But that they choose to complain about things that happen to them when in reality it's their own decision to live life they way that they do.

I know my own choices in life are predominantly why we're so broke at the moment. We decided it was important for me to stay home, we can't afford it- but I work from home so we can keep food on the table. We decided to get married young and to have a baby young. That comes with its own financial challenges to be sure. Life's hard, I get it. But in reality- choices matter. You can choose to be one of the above people, or you can choose a different path in life. Personally, if I were hating my decisions I would re-evaluate them!

Time (or lack thereof!)

One thing I've noticed about being a stay at home mom is this: everyone and their mother will want you to do things for them. There is some wild assumption that stay at home parents have TIME, not only to keep a perfect house and sit back and watch tv- but also time  to follow up on other things. Things they themselves are too busy to do because they 'work'- well, we BOTH work- let's not fib.

It's annoying. Working friends who are moms make the assumption they can have me whip up things for them/their kids. Good grief no. I mean- if I get around to it- sure. I'm not a witch. But seriously? I barely have time to make sure my kid stays alive much less tend to the Pinterest-needs of your little spawnling.

I'm not being uppity- working parents work. Stay at home parents work. I'm neither. I'm a work at home parent, meaning I work nights, weekends and nap times just to AFFORD to stay at home with my littles. There's a huge misconception that stay at homes (used to be a bad term there..... interesting history on the word) do nothing.

I have to say though, being a mom who takes care of her son full time- I feel I have a different viewpoint on his childhood than other moms I know. Time. There is SO little of it- and yet so much. Watching my son full time opens my eyes to the fact that other things are far more permanent than his childhood.

And so the projects and the housework and the cooking get pushed aside. There will be time ahead where I can get ahead.... but now.... now is the time to hug and kiss little boy faces while they're still little. To send them to bed knowing they will never again be so small. Not saying working parents don't do this as well- but really...... please stop asking me to do things for you/your family if you don't have the time to do them yourself. It's not up to me to 'mom' your child while you are being 'mom at work'. I'm sorry if my projects and hugs and homemade things go straight to my son over anyone else. That's just how it is right now. You can't outsource that kind of stuff.