Prenatal Depression

Recently, I've found out I have this. Lovely. I've always suffered with depression off and on throughout my life, contributing much of it to the way I was raised and the crap I've been through. Only recently (the past few years) have I realized it's a physical thing for me. Mentally, I just need to be balanced to be really happy.  I'm really thankful my doctors are aware I have depression as now that I'm pregnant it has suddenly become much more severe. You can read more about prenatal depression here

Until the past few years, doctors really haven't delved that much into depression during pregnancy. But let me tell you, it's real and quite terrible to those suffering from it. So many moms will tell you it'll pass, that you can only have it after the baby, that baby blues can't start as early as the 1st or 2nd tri- I've quickly found out no pregnancy really sticks to boundaries like this. Every pregnancy is about as different as the baby and the mother combined are different from another baby and mother. I have read a few studies showing prenatal depression to be slightly more prevalent in moms of boys, possibly due to the extra testosterone in the mom's system. All I know is that hormone makes me feel like crap and gives me hot flashes- not to mention added stray hairs on my chin. Oh the glamour of it all.

With all that has gone on with my family in the past month or two, I've been very down but only recently started to develop symptoms of something more. More panic attacks, more sleeplessness, more sleeping IN. Less hunger- MORE hunger- it was just off the chart. It was clear to me my body was going haywire and my usual dose of Celexa was not helping. There was a dark cloud of depression that set in weeks ago and hasn't left yet. It really is exhausting.

I'm glad I was able to bring this up to my doctor at my last visit and get some help. I'm really thankful to be redoing dosage and even counseling NOW- so if and when the actual post-partum hits I'll be prepared and not have to wait 4-6 weeks for the new dose to start working.

The truth is, some new moms just aren't glowing for a reason. Pregnancy is less than glow-y for me. I feel bad for wishing it were over but then I realize- it's been 7 months of puking, cramping, faintness, exhaustion and utter nastiness. It's about time. Hear that baby? Your eviction notice is in the mail. I'm really looking forward to getting the old 'me' back and hopefully having this cloud of hormones and depression lift soon! To actually want to do something with my day other than crawl under the covers and fall asleep in a pile of candy wrappers.